Press play…

It wasn’t my fault!

The police officer really was wrong to have searched the car. Just because there were panties on the back seat…is that a good enough reason?

With the fogged in windows, I am not even certain how the cop saw those. With how dark it was out there, and the snow crunching under foot, I would have expected the constable to be more distracted and a black lace pair on black leather seats through a fogged window would not be something I would have looked for.

Now, I did realize that the couple in the car beside were not impressed. Something about too much noise, I think…or so the cop had said after knocking on the window and shining a flashlight in. How was I to know that excessive horn use was illegal?

I was aghast at the word “excessive”, as that was not the case at all. “Inadvertent” would have been better. It was not like it was intentionally used…thirty-eight times, or not.


In all seriousness, what did the officer expect?

I also don’t think the cop realized just how difficult it was for me to get my head to get between her legs in that position.  Was it any wonder why I was snippy? My neck was sore from stretching that way and the way her leg kept twisting me further as she squirmed…and imagine how difficult it was for me to drive straight, all the while.  I should have been given an award for my efforts.

How was I to know she was that tense? When my tongue hit her in just that right spot, her stiletto heel on the black pumps pushed on the steering wheel.

Mind you, were it not for the fact that her stiletto got stuck in the steering wheel…pushing the horn…and me slamming on the brakes…the cop might have just let us off with a warning.

Were we following too close?  Was I tailgating her?  Perhaps we were closer than the mirror let on.

Either way, the cop led us off in cuffs to the police cruiser…where she got in the back with us…chained both of us with the cuffs and proceeded with her deep cavity search.

She followed procedures really well.



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