If You Had a Friend Named Cliff, Would You Jump Off Him?

“Yeah, it’s a little known fact…”

She smirked, “You’re not even close.”

“I am, too,” he protested and crossed his arms over his bare chest.

“No, you’re not.  For one thing, you don’t know any postal trivia.”  She flipped her long brunette hair over her left shoulder.  Her nipples were large red coins on her breasts.

His blue eyes burned holes in her.  “I can do the voice until the cows come home.”

Her brown eyes rolled.  “Until the posties come home.  The bastard was a postman.”

“A drunk postman.”

They both laughed.

Her hand moved slowly under the blanket.

She sighed and leaned back on him.  “It was a good show.”

He nodded and kissed her bare shoulder.  “They don’t write them like that anymore.”

“No, they don’t.  Did you like it better with Shelly Long or with…um…?”


She shook her head and her hair fell over the front of her shoulders again reaching down to her belly button.  “That brunette bitch who lost all the weight and then put it back on.”

“Oh, you mean the one married to the Hardy Boy?”

“Parker Stephenson, yes, she was married to him.”  Her hand moved slightly faster beneath the blanket.

He raised one gray eyebrow in thought.  “What the fuck is her name.  Kristy?”


“Kirsty!  Kirstie Alley!”

She laughed.  “That’s her.”

“You don’t seem old enough to have watched that show,” he said quietly.

She mocked him in her best valley girl, “Duh, reruns.”

He smiled and leaned back against the head-board.  “Right, reruns.  I always remember that first Back to the Future movie…what’s a rerun?”

They both laughed again.

Her face, however, began to show frustration and her hand moved faster yet.

He sighed and allowed his head to lull back.

“Listen, are you getting hard or what?”


She glanced at the bed side clock.  “We’ve only got ten minutes until my driver checks up on me.”

Suddenly the bed sheet started to grow a tower.

“How’s that?” he asked with a chuckle.

She smiled.  “M-S-O-G, dude.  M-S-O-G.”  She reached into the purse beside the clock on the table and produced a condom package.  Her teeth quickly ripped it open and she used both hands to wrap the massive appendage beneath the sheets with it.  “Besides, this thing is big enough, I want to fuck it again.”

“Oh, like a guy could say no to that.”

She pulled back the sheet just enough to allow his massive cock to appear.  She then raised herself up on her knees and moved forward before slowly lowering herself onto it.  Her moans began almost immediately and gained intensity as she bounced up and down on his member faster and faster.  Before long, her moans became loud yelps, like a dog.  Then they became light screams of one riding a roller coaster.  Then the screaming became constant with loud and long notes to the point of glasses shivering, ready to shatter.

Then there was wood slamming, followed by shattered glass that came from outside the bedroom.

This time she screamed with the fright of the sound.

“What the fuck?” he said, scrambling out from beneath her.  He grabbed his boxer shorts and pulled them on before running from the bedroom to see what had happened.  He was greeted by a vision of the front door off of its hinges and the full length mirror that adorned the cloak closet was smashed from the impact of the front door hitting it.

A large man in matching jean jacket and pants stood panting in the door with a very red face.  “What the fuck are you doing?” he screamed his question.

“Harvey!” she screamed back from over her lover’s shoulder.  “I’m fine.”

“It sounded like he was killing you.”

She was already into her mini black dress that she had arrived in.  “This is Harvey, my over protective driver.”  She kissed the man in the boxers lightly and gave his, still lingering, erection a squeeze through his boxers.  “I enjoyed this, my dear.  Hope I can see you again.”  She turned and walked past Harvey with a glare before pushing through the screen door.

Harvey gave him one more stern glare before following her.

The man stood in his boxers, erection gone.  Four words finally escaped his lips, “What about my door?”


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