Singularity in Hippy Truths

Went and saw “Our Idiot Brother”. Certainly not the normal comedy that would be referred to as “romantic comedy”…unless your idea of romance is guys who get together and make candles…but still felt like one of those. There is some sex, there is some nudity, there is lots of swearing.

As such, probably not the normal type of film I would go to on my own.

First, to the film. I am a huge Zooey Deschanel fan, which is what got me going to this one in the first place. Will admit that Paul Rudd was a pleasant surprise. The film was cute…and the plot was not completely shallow, either…basic concept is Rudd is a hippy who is a good guy. He gets his three sisters in trouble as they blame him for his innocent honesty…something most of us have lost…when it causes them problems in lives where each is comfortable in their delusions and white lies.

The character that Rudd plays…that’s what I want to be. The dude is just happy to be alive. He does not care about retirement funds, football scores or celebrity gossip…yet he is the most caring and personable man one could ever meet. All he really wanted was to get his dog, Willie Nelson, from his ex girlfriend’s farm.

The thing that really stuck with me, however, is how we all have become inherently dishonest.

Take the old cliche that good sex solves a lot of problems. Balderdash! Good sex makes you overlook a lot of problems, but solves nothing other than stress relief, pleasure and lack of children. Of course, these things are good…but good sex does not solve issues with money, acne, someone’s cheating habits, nor a host of others…but all of these might be glossed over as we become dishonest with ourselves on such things simply because the person was a good lay.

Then, when someone comes along and points out our lack of honesty…whether to ourselves or others…we get upset with that someone for bursting the little bubble we were so very comfortable in.

Those that scream about how they abhor lying and would never lie…I suspect they are compensating for being deeper than many in their delusions. If they rephrase the line to “I never lie to others”…it may be closer to the truth, but even that sounds false.

We all have our delusions. We all have our fibs that we tell ourselves. Honesty…true honesty is much rarer than any of us imagine.

So where am I going with all this?

Last night, on Facebook, I posted a status update saying: “This whole being single thing sucks”.

Now, I said it rather flippantly as I sat in the cinema and realized how I hated going to this film alone…I need a friend to talk to about it after. Much as I enjoy posting these blogs about movies…not quite as interactive as laughing over a coffee and discussing it after…and if that “after” is immediate, or breakfast the next morning is depends on how good the friend is.

Much as I enjoy writing the erotica I post on here, I do not need the breakfast right now.

So why the flippant single comment? Am I just kidding? Am I still the dog that needs the occasional pat on the head from one I deem a “goddess”? Am I lying to myself either way?

Perhaps the most honest person is one who has to rediscover themselves everyday. Our wants and needs evolve…last night, for example, being single “sucked”. This morning, it does not…in fact, I feel the freedom of it.

Something else I have previously mentioned is my joining a dating site. One fascinating thing I found there was how many use the cliche that “life is meant to be shared”. Perhaps this is the biggest delusion of all…that we are not complete unless there is someone else with us.

In fact, I do declare that one cannot have a proper relationship unless they are already complete. For someone to finish your sentences, you must actually know what you are saying. A couple is not about being 50/50 in give and take…it works if it is 100/100.

Another correction…romance is made, love is not. No one is romantic…they may be romantic in some situations, but odds are slim that would be seen in business interactions. Also, anyone reading my previous posts knows that I view love and sex as quite separate…they might be better together, but tradition and brainwashing has so many claiming they must be linked.

That last bit will, no doubt, be revisited in future posts.

Last question seems to be how to stop the dishonesty…the delusions.

I have no clue. Just a couple of ideas.

It will start, however, in realizing and acknowledging it.

Also not blaming someone else for pointing it out to us but, instead, blaming ourselves and striving to correct it.


  1. Hmmmn… ignorance is bliss.

    And I believe that we are social creatures, but perhaps we are not meant to live together. Familiarity breeds contempt and all that or at least that’s what I’ve been able to take out of the last 30 years.

  2. I struggle with the pressure to be part of a couple most of the time. I realize even tho I miss sex, I’m happy being alone. I think some of the lying to ourselves has to do with sorting out our true wants/needs/likes against what society tells us they should be.

  3. Anyone who says sex and love aren’t seperate things is lying. One can most definately have sex without love, and vice-versa. It is true that they do go well together, and sex is often most passionate with someone you love. But even when in a relationship with someone you love, sometimes sex is just sex.


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