Nothing Nice

I know I have pointed this out many times before, but if one looks up the etymology of the word “nice”, it comes from “nothing”…literally.

It is starting to drive me insane. It really is.

I am a nice guy.

Always have been.

Problem is, women do not go for nice guys. We are too nice.

The want the rogue. The guy with a little bad boy streak. The guy on the motorcycle with the skull and cross bones tattoo (not like my tatts that my daughters picked and designed).

Honestly, much as I have written of the eros…and some is based on experience…not experiencing much lately. I stated a couple of months back on Twitter and Facebook that I am now “more single than I have ever been since high school”. Still am…

May not seem like two months sounds long, but when one has had somewhat of an easy time finding kindred spirits…*ahem*, allow me to rephrase…local kindred spirits somewhat easily for 23 years…then two months becomes an eternity.

I am not even talking about sex here. Of course sex, when done correctly under physician supervision, can be fantastic…but I just miss the touch of a hand. Making a goddess laugh. The sigh when she glances at me that says she is happy I am there. I miss watching her sleep…and in that case, draw your own conclusions, but the last time I was so fortunate, she was still fully clothed. I also miss waking to kiss her bare shoulder before crawling out of bed to start my day…no clothing that time.

But, again, I am a nice guy.

I take no for an answer.

Odds are I would happily go to the Moon and back for a goddess…twice before she was even able to get the rogue to look at the idea.

Well…one day…

…please, one day. I will be 41 in less than a month and, now officially in middle age means that “one day”s are replaced by “if you’re lucky”s.

Another problem with being a nice guy…a nice guy with a romantic streak…is that I will fall in love too easily. Two marriages have proven that…and though divorce is an experience, wish I had learned better after the first one. Suffice, I cannot rush in again as I have in the past which makes this entire want a bit of a paradox.

I am a nice guy. Hell, I’m a great guy for the right goddess.

It seems there are some who see this…from a distance. I have a select few friends who have become close…that I have never seen a live face of, and likely never will as such goddesses live in far away lands with problems of their own and come to me for an ear, a laugh and an escape…something I am too happy to assist them with. These beautiful souls that I treasure are in need, but there is only so much I can do when they are hundreds of kilometres away..or more. Why cannot just one be within, I don’t know…say 20 km? Just one?

I am, however, starting to think my time of pleasing a goddess is dwindling. That is a younger man’s game and, perhaps, I am now too jaded to do it again. Maybe I have become too independent…too quirky…too nice.

Lay my coat across a puddle for her…hell, even I will lay myself across the puddle for her…but apparently things like romance through chivalry and gentlemen need no longer apply. Apparently this, in an age of equality, is too quirky…or so I have been told by one I was attempting to flirt with.

I must have missed the memo when a sense of humour and a little creativity makes one “too quirky”…

Alas, I do not take this personally. I just take it and walk away with a smile. Thanking her for her time and for pointing out my flaws.

After all, I am a nice guy.


  1. Some of us like nice guys, but we’re older and more settled. Closing in on 50 (okay 2 and a half years away), we’re past the time of going to bars to look for guys. We know what we want, but the nice guys our age are looking at the girls in their 20’s who still want the bad boys. That’s the problem, all the wires are crossed, and nobody gets what they want.

      1. What the nice older guys don’t understand is that the hot 20 somethings they’re looking at are ONLY interested in the 20 something hot guys. The older guys think they have a shot, but the girls aren’t interested in anyone over 30, unless the older guy has serious money. Then they’ll go for anybody as long as the payoff is big enough, and I’m talking at least a million. Six figures won’t help at that point.

  2. I came to read your blog because I am friends on fb with your friend Cindy. You’ve written very nicely & honestly about how sad you are feeling. I just want to say, 41 is not so old. It’s not so young but you still have time. I agree with what Jen said, for the most part. Still. If what you are looking for is youth ~ it’s still possible. I remember crushing on older guys when I was in my 20’s. Some girls have a daddy thing or whatever you want to call it. For wise girls it is sometimes hard to hang out with silly, immature, young guys even if they are gorgeous, so you have the wisdom of age on your side. & Really truly, 2 months is not so long to just chill out & spend some time with yourself. Love yourself, hang with yourself, be satisfied with yourself. Youthful, beautiful, & true love may or may not show up ~ either way you are going to be with yourself anyway. I don’t know if this was helpful. I hope I haven’t offended you because that was totally not what I wanted to do. Be well.

    1. You’re not the first to mention the age thing…so not wanting to pick on you or anyone else, for that matter (thanks for reading, btw)…but I’m not sure how or where that part even came from. I mention my own age in the piece, but never of whom I am potentially looking at. Perhaps it is just suggested, though…ah well.

  3. I’m going to say you are wrong…women do go/look for nice guys – there just aren’t many out there!! Young guys want every woman and older men only want women 1/2 their age.

    I’m an eternal optimist & I believe if you want something that one day (when it’s your time) things will work out the way you wanted, or with some twisted variation of your desires.
    Without looking too deep into what you are saying I wonder “are you looking for a good woman” or are you looking for a “hot goddess”? That word “goddess” makes me cringe.

    Let me tell you about the last date I went on – I drove & I paid!! OH prince charming it’s what I’ve been dreaming about my whole life. Now don’t get me wrong – I am all for pitching in & splitting a bill or taking turns but honestly I find men don’t want to put much effort into “sweeping you off your feet” or going the extra mile.

    1. I’ll go out on a limb and suggest you are looking at the same coin I am, but from the other side.

      Considering your experience, I can understand why you would react to certain words as you mentioned. I know how I mean it and how you take it is all perspective based.

      There are a lot of idiots out there (and not going to gender specify on this one). Problem is they tend to make more noise than us nicer folk…and they tend to attract more attention..bastards.

      Thanks for reading.

  4. Interesting post, It seems to be both more complicated and easier at the same time this dating in your 40s. I am more clear on who I am and my boundaries. But not everyone I have encountered is, or their expectations on the bedroom are faster than I am ready for (2nd time I meet you?). I still think there is someone out there. Just haven’t met him yet, but I have given up actively searching.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.