Knitting Lingerie

Why will no one teach me how to knit?

I want to knit lingerie. I think it is an under served market.

“Taking hand made to an entirely new level” was the first idea I had for a marketing slogan.

I would have my Enviro-line completely knitted from coffee plantation leaves.

Perhaps I will even go completely rogue with my line of fir coats from endangered species.

Or my condom line made with hot wax.

Maybe even the line of stockings and steak knives…the combo use is obvious, is it not? Knife is for assisting said goddess out of said stockings. The stockings would be biodegradable, of course…with the right incendiary fluids, they would be gone in seconds along with any wood products in a four kilometre radius.

I would also publish my book, “Parenting of Undead Babies”. No doubt, a best seller as soon as I get it finished.

I’m just getting started!

How about my idea for a car fueled by human feces? That will work, right?

How about an escort agency that also brings pizza delivery?

A football team named the Iowa Idiots.

Melt away bras that, when the sun is at just the right angle, making men not have to learn how to unclasp them.

Yeah, okay, these things won’t work. Not yet, at least. Just need to smash my brain out with a lemon wrapped around a gold brick…and if you don’t know this reference, Google it and you’ll laugh.

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