American Thanksgiving Traditions for the Non American

As is my tradition, I am taking a few days off this week coinciding with US Thanksgiving.

Slight difference, this time in that I have to go to a pub in order to watch football on Thursday. I do not have cable nor satellite at the house, so off into the great wild I will wander.

On Friday I will also watch the only film I traditionally watch every year…best Christmas movie ever…Die Hard.

Nothing gets me into the holiday spirit like watching John McLane in bare feet gun down bad thieves posing as terrorists. Only difference between this film and 9/11 is that we don’t know who the thieves were in 2001. Also, Alan Rickman was a much better actor than George W. Bush.

As it goes, I’ll watch Argyle running up the mobile phone bill as he sits with the stuffed animal in the back of the limo. I’ll watch Al Powell wolf down more Twinkies than should be allowed by law. I’ll watch as FBI guys Johnson and Johnson (no relation) get blown off the roof in their chopper. And, of course, I’ll watch as Hans Gruber plummets from many stories up while police scratch their ass…unaware if the man falling is a good guy or bad guy.

Then there’s Ellis and the nose candy.

“Missed some.”
– John McLane

Rumour has it there is a fifth installment coming. The second film, ‘Die Harder’, was the low end of the series. It was okay, but basically an attempt to repeat the first one in almost all aspects.

The third film, ‘With a Vengeance’, was fantastic. Dare I say it might even be better than the original. Giving McLane a chance to play off Zeus, played by Samuel L. Jackson added another dimension to this…and do not call him Jesus…Christ! That only seems to piss him off.

A couple years back, around the twentieth anniversary of the first one, they brought us ‘Live Free or Die Hard’. This one was directed by Len Wiseman, best known for the Underworld films (think Kate Beckinsale and Bill Nighy as vampyres). This one, though not bad, had some issues for me with suspension of belief. They took a few of the stunts too far…however, seeing little Lucy McLane as a young woman actually helped connect it to the original set.

The question is, what do they do for the fifth installment? With each successive film the scope of John McLane’s foes keeps getting bigger and bigger…from one single high rise, to an airport, to New York City and to the entire East Coast of North America. So that suggests to me that we are looking at a potential rock hurtling through space that may destroy Earth and only John McLane can save us…

…um…well, there would also be terrorists involved this time and no Ben Affleck…and, for the record, the film Armageddon would have been much better if Affleck could have had a discussion with Hans Gruber about men’s fashions right before Hans put a bullet in him…that’s how I would have written it.

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